You can relate to these lessons I learnt from university life which I’d share since I feel that one way or another, all of us go through something similar, so these might be beneficial for you, might be a mirror for you to look at.
These two years, I’d say, have taught me more than my college life, which kicked off as something toxic but ended on a good note, teaching me a lot, and blessing me with beautiful memories.
I can go on with the lessons learnt but will try to make it short. Hence, the following points:
I finally know what carries more importance in my life and what is to be ignored completely. This I learnt, after witnessing a number of online fights, arguments and what not. And now I know that not everyone deserves an answer. You don’t owe people always. Sometimes, silence needs to be kept and energy be saved.
I know it becomes difficult to choose if you need to offer someone an explanation or remain silent, but I’d say, choose wisely. Communicate your concerns when necessary, when you know you’ll be heard, and where your opinion is valued. Don’t remain in the middle, and don’t torture yourself. If you think there’s something you heard about your friend that’s disturbing your peace, go and ask him/her “directly”. Don’t let confusion dwell in your mind. End it by communicating.
دوست ہوتا نہیں ہر ہاتھ ملانے والا۔
From the start of univeristy life, the thought of being misfit has always kind of put me in a dilemma. I didnt know if I’ll end up finding someone like myself, who’d share my opinions, and treat me like a friend not an acquaintance. And in this journey, my belief that “you can have a thousand acquaintances for all you want, but friends you’ll have only a handful”, has only been strengthened.
“Trust is always mutual”; my greatest takeaway.
If they trust you, trust them, else you’re merely wasting your time and energy.
And never trust people with something so valuable, that when they betray you, you won’t be able to recover from that shock.
Always be patient, no matter what.
Don’t hustle, may it be while making friends, trusting people, trying to be successful, deciding on something, or reacting, responding to a particular situation.
Keep your calm, always. If not, then be good at pretending. Saves you from a lot of trouble.
𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬:
I have realized by interacting with a lot of people that all of us are different, unique and beautiful in our way. What disturbs me might not cause you trouble, but something more trivial might, hence it is ridiculous to draw a comparison in any way.
𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐏 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒:
Always and always, keep your boundaries. Don’t let anyone cross them. I repeat “ANYONE”. Define your limits and make a line that no one is allowed to cross, not even your dearest friends.
If I don’t like something, my friends should know that too, and respect my opinion.
𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬:
If someone trusts you with something, don’t ever break that trust. Don’t confuse your friendships. If friend “A” tells you something about himself/herself, friend “B” does not need to know about it. THIS IS BASIC ETIQUETTE.
If something disturbs you, speak it out. Don’t keep it inside. That silent torture hurts.
𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐊 𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄, 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄:
Never look at yourself from others’ perspectives.
اپنی دنیا آپ پیدا کر
If someone criticizes you, try to look at it positively, instead of punishing yourself, or being hard on yourself. Take every opportunity to build yourself better, not destroy your foundation.
𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏
Though this might be a little weird for some to hear from me, it is HELL IMPORTANT to identify that it’s not your duty to rescue everyone.
Many a time, you become a victim yourself while helping someone.
THIS WORLD IS FULL OF MANIPULATORS.
Realize this before it’s too late.
𝐃𝐎𝐍’𝐓 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐏𝐔𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔
I won’t lie that being a very social person, I’ve felt not once, but a number of times, that people wanted to take advantage of my networking skills.
NEVER ALLOW THAT. Save yourself.
𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐓𝐒:
Girls, especially, should learn to trust their gut feeling. It doesn’t lie (at least in 90% of cases).
If your sixth sense is warning you time and again, please don’t ignore that signal.
Don’t let anyone dictate what you should do in your life. Be your own saviour. Do listen to others but make the final decision yourself.
𝐃𝐎𝐍’𝐓 𝐉𝐔𝐃𝐆𝐄 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒:
I feel that we judge others on things that we either can’t do or somewhere inside, wish to do. No one has a right to bad mouth others just because they might be sinning differently.
For instance, I’ve seen people criticising others for having friends from the opposite gender, yet having them themselves.
I mean, why this hypocrisy?
Do add what your university life has taught you, and how relatable you find these above-mentioned lessons.
Credit: Dr. Noor E Jannat